Habits are what make us who we are. Think of a chain-smoker as an example. They define the way we live and are a pretty fantastic indicator of our decision-making. The interesting thing about habits is that, regardless of spontaneity levels, every person on the planet has them.
See, God created habits to make our lives easier. They reduce mental stress, increase productivity, and make life more enjoyable. A habit that is well-developed will take you far in life. Unfortunately, even with good habits and the benefits enjoyed by them, bad habits usually do not follow too far behind.
I mentioned smoking earlier, but just like everyone develops different good habits, we also all develop poor ones. Your bad habit could be as simple as biting your nail or cracking your knuckles. The fact is, in the life of a professional, bad habits have no place. They are wasteful of your time, energy, and motivation. So this post is devoted entirely to breaking them. After all, bad habits may die hard, but they still have to die.
1. Measure Motivation
I don't want for you to come away from this post thinking that breaking a bad habit is a piece of cake. In fact, if it were not difficult, you would not have the habit in the first place. This is where motivation comes into play. This step focuses predominantly on what your motivation is for avoiding the habit. Let's stick with smoking as an example for now.
If you are trying to quit smoking because you're sick and tired of having your couch smell like cigarettes, more than likely you will end up regressing. Why? Because of the addictive properties of a habit (see reasons for design above), motivation must be something that will actually drive a change. When you're craving that cigarette, the smell of your couch quickly becomes something that you can overlook. Even being healthy becomes poor motivation because "one more won't hurt."
Your actual motivation has to come from somewhere deeper and give specific meaning to why you're doing what you're doing. The reason you are going to stop smoking is because, by adding years to your life by being healthy, you will enjoy more time with your family and friends. That's real motivation. Make sure that, whatever your reason for wanting to cease your habit, that it gives a specific reason for you to continue.
2. Discover Your Triggers
This step is, quite possibly, the easiest to accomplish, but it is the most difficult to own. What do I mean by that? Someone who is addicted to dessert is triggered when their main course is finished and they let their eyes wander to the sweet stuff. That's pretty simple. But it is very difficult for that person to say, "Okay, I will not go around the dessert table anymore." As creatures of habit, we believe that they are controllable. I completely agree with that. However, most of the time when we feel like we have them under control is when they are the most out of control.
Find out what triggers your bad habit. Once you have made that discovery, avoid it like the plague. No getting close, no almost, and certainly no part-way. Avoid it. Totally. I have found that one of the best ways to avoid any of my triggers is to give myself a quick, "What are you thinking???" pep talk. If you can't bring yourself to avoid the trigger, breaking the bad habit becomes nearly impossible.
3. Forgive
No one is going to be perfect 100% of the time. That is what makes us human. You will mess up and give in to your bad habit when trying to break it. Giving in is your body's natural tendency because it is in the habit of a particular action. You have to remember that, when that time comes, you can forgive yourself and move on. People who fail and then stay down are the only ones that actually get trampled. The rest get a little beat up, rise, and continue. Always remember that, when you slip up, the very second afterwards is a new moment to turn things around again.
I have a bad tendency towards beating myself up over failures. This is especially true when it comes to a particular diet or exercise regime. But forgiving myself reduces my stress level and helps me to keep going. It is not the end of the world. I will get back up and turn things around. I am motivated, I know my triggers and to avoid them, and I forgive myself when I mess up. That leads us to our forth way to beat a bad habit.
4. Replace
The best way to completely drive a bad habit from your life is to replace it with a good habit. Think of someone who watches too much tv. The best way to stop watching as much tv is to replace that time with something like reading a book or exercise. This step varies from person to person because we all have different things that we like to do. Find something you enjoy (like a hobby) and pick it up. If you have something that you have always wanted to do like learn a foreign language or play a musical instrument, deciding to break a separate, bad habit is a great way to get started.
5. Reward
Set milestones and reward yourself when you have completed the above steps for a given period of time. Please notice that I did not say, "Indulge yourself." I am not, under any circumstances, suggesting that you go back to your bad habit. A recovering alcoholic should never reward himself at the end of his 12-step program with a drink. That is just a recipe for disaster. But if you have a small reward waiting for you, it becomes easier to push on through.
For example, when I first started exercising before my wedding, I told myself that if I reached a desired size, I would buy myself a suit with the tuxedo discount that I received. Now, I am not talking about any suit. I promised myself a suit that fit me perfectly. I wanted something that looked like it was custom made for me and accentuated the physical qualities which I had worked hard to achieve. Sure enough, I bought my suit after my wedding and recently had it re-tailored as another personal reward.
As you can probably see, breaking bad habits is not an easy task. But trust me. Getting that junk out of your life is well worth it. But that is something that is up to you. Find your own motivation - something specific that allows you to get up in the morning ready to rock n' roll. Know your triggers and stay away from them. But also be able to forgive yourself when you mess up. Take comfort in the fact that you have a brand new hobby or habit to replace the time spent on the old, nasty one. Smile as you think of the reward you have waiting for you when you reach your goal. And as always, stay classy.
-Andrew
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